A Beastly Quickfire Q&A

For anyone who’s seen a Kill the Beast show before, you’ll understand that a toss up between toupee’s and mouthwash can be a very serious question indeed. 

Their award-winning five star comedy production Dont Wake The Damp had smash-hit success at Edinburgh Fringe Festival this August, taking home The Stage Edinburgh Award 2016. 

The 80s inspired monster comedy adventure is a tale of a crumbling tower block set for destruction where the residents discover a terrible monster lurking within it. Think The Power Rangers meets The League of Gentlemen, with John Carpenter’s The Thing thrown in for good measure.

Ahead of  Dont Wake The Damp’s return to The Lowry (Wed 26 – Sat 29 Oct) Kill the Beast‘s Ollie Jones entertains us with some ghoulishly entertaining answers to our Beastly Quickfire Q&A.

Ollie Jones and Natasha Hodgson in Don’t Wake The Damp


  • Most embarrassing on stage moment?

He Had Hairy Hands, Hemel Hempstead, Caroline’s Song. Dave forgetting all the words (it’s a solo, by the way) and improvising thusly: ‘Think Caroline……….Use….Zinc, Caroline…….Blink…..Uhm.’ It would have been fine, except two of us were also standing on stage with him dressed as silent corpses, trying to improvise dance moves to the new and surprisingly lyrics.

  • Proudest Kill the Beast moment?

Winning the Stage Edinburgh award this year was pretty good – it was the first time we’d been properly recognized by the national press (they took their time) and it’s always humbling and awesome to see people turning up to Don’t Wake The Damp wearing their ‘Pig Kicker’ and ‘I Have Hairy Hands’ badges. But there was nothing like the elation of the first ever The Boy Who Kicked Pigs getting 5 stars after the first night. That’s when we felt we were onto something.

  • Favourite on tour meal?

There’s not a whole lot of choice in service stations, so let’s look at the bigger picture here. We went to this steak house in Norwich – Middleton’s, we think it was – which was really something special. We love to feast on the flesh of God’s creatures, so this ticked all the boxes AND we got chips.

  • Favourite pre-show meal?

Right, well now your naiveté is becoming a trifle embarrassing. First, we are far too nervous to eat before a show, and second, it’s a terrible idea. You don’t want to be doing The Whitechapel Workout or the opening credits to The Crystal Continuum bursting at the gills with duck confit.

  • Karaoke song of choice?

I think, unanimously, a five strong version of One Day More for Les Miserables or Taytay’s Shake it Off.

  • Superpower of choice?

We invented a superpower for Clem. It’s the ability to summon chairs at will, en masse, if needs be.

  • Signature dance move?

Dave is the one to turn to for dancing. He’s very modern. We’re not sure what it’s called, but it’s garish.

  • Favourite villain?

Space King Nightvoid, because we invented him.

  • Most loved cartoon?

Oh, we all have different ones. As only one of us is writing this, we’ll have to go with mine: Tales from the Far Side.

  • Guiltiest pleasure?

Taytay’s Shake it Off. Tattie Dogs. Watching footage of our own shows and being like ‘Oh, oh, now that is good.’

  • Favourite smell?

Nerys Caligari’s (from The Boy Who Kicked Pigs) jumper, if by ‘favourite’ you mean ‘most haunting.’

  • Best place on earth?


  • Soundtrack to your life?

Taytay’s Shake it Off.

  • Biggest inspiration?

Boring answer but probably The League of Gentlemen. Honourable mentions to The Cornetto Trilogy, 1927, and the many facets and characters of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

  • A team or Knight Rider?

If Knight Rider could be scrapped and converted into a van for us to use, then we choose Knight Rider.

  • Dynasty or Golden Girls?

Again, one for Dave, and on his behalf, we’ll say Golden Girls.

  • Saved by the Bell or Byker Grove?

To celebrate the hues of our current show Don’t Wake The Damp, we’ll say Saved by the Bell. Better theme song too. Sorry, but it is.

  • Ghostbusters or ET?

Ghostbusters. ET’s a wimp.

  • Dirty Dancing or Footloose?

Step Up 2 The Streets.

  • Toupees or mouthwash?

Are you serious? Have you seen how many wigs we have?

  • Ghost or zombie?

Well, now there’s a question. We’d probably choose zombies because you can’t defeat ghosts. In the event of a horror-movie scenario, we fancy our chances against the zombie hordes. There are 5 of us, which means at least 4 can go down fighting to buy survival for the last standing member. NB: None of us would go willingly. In fact we’d probably all die at the same time, having got distracted fighting to throw each other into the path of the horde.

  • Bones or warts?

Bones, you can’t see them.

  • Fingers or Toes?

I suppose without fingers we wouldn’t be able to write. But without toes, we wouldn’t be able….to dance.

  • Bogies or Blood?

Disgusting. Blood.

  • Creepy wood or haunted house?

We like to play this board game called ‘Betrayal at House on the Hill’ which is jolly exciting and set in a haunted house, so I think we’ll go for haunted houses, as they hold a lot of wonderful memories for each of us.


For tickets and more info on Don’t Wake The Damp visit the website or call box office on 0843 208 6000.